No psychiatrist ever gazed at the lacerated brain of a patient with more pleasure than I enjoyed when I saw the look in Miss Pinch's eyes after she struggled awake.
After taking in her surroundings, seeing her lover bound squirming and naked to the couch, and trying futility to move her chained arms and legs, Miss Pinch surprisingly says nothing, and only glares at her captor. Gris gives her a "deadly smile" and assures himself that he's a "master psychologist about to outdo the Marquis de Sade," but can't help but feel ill at ease. Even though he has the advantage, he's dealing with "one of the most tricky and dangerous creatures alive: Not only was she a woman, she was also Miss Pinch!"
Gris gets down to business. Chapter One of the Apparatus torture manual tells operatives to act friendly towards victims to increase the shock of what follows. So Gris smiles, compliments Miss Pinch for her good health, and promises to walk out of the apartment without a word if she gives him the combination to the safe containing "his" money. Pinch says nothing. Gris puts away the groceries she was bringing in before he assaulted her, then gets out a beer from the iron maiden/fridge.
I looked at Candy. She was throwing her head from left to right, eyes wild, trying to spit out the gag. I trailed a finger down her throat and then made a mysterious circle with it before her face. Incomprehensible.
You might be wondering what, exactly, Gris just did, or why. Keep wondering. Gris doesn't do it again, and the author never explains it. When he said "incomprehensible" he damn well meant it.
Gris removes Candy's gag. Candy screams while he slowly walks around the room to "Drag it out. Don't let them know what you're really going to do." He offers her a beer, compliments her on her voice, and repeats his statement that she has nothing to fear if Miss Pinch simply gives him the combination. Candy begs her lover to do what Gris says, but Pinch remains silent.
I'd yell at her for hanging Candy out to dry and being willing to risk defilement and death for the sake of a couple thousand stolen dollars, but knowing Gris the girls are doomed anyway, so Pinch might as well get back at him by not cracking.
I put the flat of my hand on Candy's chin and began to rotate it gently. She stared at me in horror. She looked down and saw how naked she was. She strained at her bonds.
I moved my hand to her stomach and rotated it around. Then, circle by circle, I went lower and lower. Just before I touched between her legs, I stood back. I took a sip of beer.
Casually, I wandered over to the record cabinet. I put the beer down and began to go through the collection.
Two sets of eyes watched me, two birds staring at a snake.
Gris, for whatever reason, does a fairly thorough search of the record cabinet, until he finds a dusty stack on the bottom that he concludes "must be the records they hated and never played." I, too, often keep things I hate in my closet, taking up space and serving no use whatsoever, rather than throwing them out. Gris is surprised to discover the records are "LOVE SONGS!"
Now, if you've had a decades-long career as a pulp sci-fi writer, convinced yourself that you and your stories helped inspire things like the A-bomb and space program, and started a self-help program and religion so successful that it earned the ire of the Nazi-banker-psychiatrist alliance, you might feel free to try your hand at songwriting since you're obviously such a talented and creative person. I'd assure you that Hubbard is just as good a lyricist as he is an author, but you don't have to take my word for it:
When I gaze into your eyes,I see love, love, love.When I try you on for size,I feel love, love, love.When I press your gushing breasts,And I feel your thighs' caress,I fell love, love, loveGo into me!
Can you see it? Mission Earth: The Musical blazing in lights on Broadway...
Candy screams that Gris is going to rape her and, I think for the third time now, begs Miss Pinch to give him the combination. Gris assures his victims that he's serious and undoes the front of his "Ninja robe," making Candy scream even louder Miss Pinch continues to say nothing and glares at Gris in the ongoing "battle of wills."
I put a knee on Candy's couch. I looked again at Miss Pinch.
Nothing but tight lips.
Candy was threshing [sic] her head from side to side, frantic!
I put my other knee on the couch.
Candy screamed!
I looked at Miss Pinch.
Tight, closed lips.
Suddenly something stopped me.
I stared at Candy in amazement.
She stared back at me in terror.
I had to keep my mind on the real business here. I looked at Miss Pinch. I said, "Your little wife here is a virgin! If I keep on, she isn't going to be a virgin anymore. One last chance. Tell me the combination to that safe or I open this one!"
Miss Pinch's lips were even tighter shut.
I said to Miss Pinch, "It's you that's doing this."
You know what's strange? The book jacket recapped the main plot of the series and made a big deal out of the arrival of the Countess Krak, who has barely been in this book so far but has at least played an active role in the scenes she appears in. It also hyped Gris' $250 million despite the money ending up getting wasted on what turned out to be kidnapping victims, "the lure of high fashion" discussed on a plane ride before fading into irrelevance, and the "army" of three "mounted outlaw highwaymen" who appeared for a page and a half.
It didn't mention Gris raping anybody, even though he's spent more time doing that than the book has spent on fashion and highwaymen combined. Wonder why they didn't put that on the book jacket? "At the same time, Gris' nonconsensual liaisons in the back of a limousine, and his ruthless rape of two women may well derail everyone's plans in this fifth exciting volume of L. Ron Hubbard's acclaimed, best-selling adventure-epic -- MISSION EARTH."
"Here goes!" I said.
Candy screamed louder than the music, by far!
She threw her head back and went unconscious.
The turntable went round and round.
Miss Pinch's eyes were unreadable.
The turntable went around and around.
Candy came to. She glanced sideways at Miss Pinch and then began to moan.
The beer can tipped over and gushed its foaming contents across the floor.
Candy screamed.
The legs of the sofa did a jumping waltz.
Candy's eyes rolled up into her head, leaving the whites showing.
She slumped.
She was out cold.
Miss Pinch's eyes were unreadable. Her lips stayed sealed.
Candy's hair was trailing down to the floor. She was totally unconscious.
I stood up, pulling the robe around me.
Really, the only purpose Gris' fortune served was to allow him to rape women in his limo. When the money ran out, and his crimes caught up with him, Gris fled to New York where he is now raping more women to get them to hand over more money. Back in the same room he fled to Turkey from in the first place. I guess it's the journey, not the destination, that's important. And the "journey" in this case involves a lot of rape.
Gris cracks another beer and taunts Miss Pinch about how her stubbornness caused her to "break the most sacred Psychiatric Birth Control laws" and left Candy in disgrace. "Alas, you forced her to be violated. She is a fallen woman!" But Pinch remains silent, even after Gris again asks for the safe combination, making him wonder if the woman is "made of solid brass!" So Gris opens his robe again and advances on the helpless woman, timing his attack with the music.
Sweet little woman,
Please marry me.
Man and wife together,
How happy we will be.
And then we'll have some kiddies,
Maybe two or three.
So here's the ring and there's the church,
Oh, come, my honey be.
Think the records are old contraband? Rockecenter is supposedly trying to turn the world gay to kill everyone, so shouldn't there be a backlash against traditional marriage? Or does his organization's tentacles not extend into the record industry? Also, why do we only hear about Psychiatric Birth Control from Miss Pinch or Rockecenter himself? Why doesn't it have an effect on the rest of the story?
The record starts skipping on "How happy we will be" around the time Gris makes another discovery.
"Hey!" I said. "YOU'RE A VIRGIN TOO!"
Her eyes were wild. She was trying to fight upwards.
"Oh, to Hells with the combination!" I said. "This is too good!"
I taste barf.
Her eyes rolled up all the way in her head. She conked out.
The turntable went round and round. It had gotten off the groove now and had jumped to the rest of the song:
Oh, sweet woman,I am your guy,Sex with you and me,Is pie and ecstasy.Oh, sweet woman,Come to your man,You are my bed and butter,So drink me if you can!
Miss Pinch had regained consciousness.
She was tugging at the chain with a hand that convulsed rhythmically.
The turntable shifted to a new song.
A woman's husky voice filled the room:
Long and slow,And up we go,The moanin' and the groanin'Is because I want you so.Long and slow,And down we go,The beggin' and the pleadin'Is to make you do it mo'!Long and slow . . .
A beer can, teetering back and forth on the stereo, suddenly exploded. Foam flew all over the room.
The feet of the bed leaped up into the air and chattered back against the floor as Miss Pinch screamed in deafening crescendo.
Miss Pinch passes out again, Gris does up his robe and swats the record player until it shuts off. Despite being a master psychologist and disciple of the Marquis de Sade, Gris hasn't managed to get the lock combination out of his victim.
"(Bleep) you, Pinch," I snarled. "Have you defeated me AGAIN?"
So what has Gris actually accomplished, besides the obvious? Well, you'd be surprised. And probably a little disgusted. But that's next chapter. I think the more important question is: what has the author accomplished this chapter?
We already hated Gris, right? From his first appearance the author has taken pains to portray the man in as unsympathetic a manner as possible. He's an unrepentant, loathsome murderer who has technically raped dozens of women already. So was this the scene that was supposed to tip him over the Moral Event Horizon, even though Hubbard has spent the entire series beating us over the head with Gris' evilness? Did he think anyone might still be rooting for Gris at this point and came up with this chapter to make sure they turned on him?
Other explanations are more problematic. If this is supposed to be smut for our enjoyment, well, it's a bit circumspect, certainly moreso than Gris' encounter with Nurse Bildirjin in the hospital that left all that "white paint." The only splashing fluids here are spilled beer.
Another option is that this might be for the author's enjoyment. Maybe Hubbard got some catharsis out of his murderous villain protagonist raping a frigid, sadistic lesbian. Maybe they're stand-ins for some women he knew. But I'd hesitate to make that accusation - Hubbard may have the writing skills of an angsty teenager, but I'm not sure he'd write a story just to burn an effigy of someone he hated in real life.
Though the main bad guy is clearly a stand-in for Rockefeller...
A fourth possibility is that this whole episode was meant to show the horrible influence of psychology, which led a woman to force a man to rape her lover when she refused to give him what he wanted. If only Miss Pinch had been a normal heterosexual, she would have caved in and saved her and Candy's honor, assuming Gris had enough of the same to not rape them anyway. But this angle is pretty badly undermined by the next chapter.
In conclusion... well, look at the post title.
Back to Chapter Seven
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